Battle of the Heart

I felt my heart battling yesterday. We are going to Dayton, OH this week for my brother-in-law's Air Force Retirement. So proud...huge family get together, etc. We decided to fly so that Colby didn't have to endure yet another long car ride. Well, what happens a month ago, two weeks ago...yesterday? He's had ear infection. His ears are still a little red and he's got a cold. We have been prepared for the possibility that he might not be able to go with us which means (obviously) that we have to leave him (with my ever-so-eager parents). I felt like taking him with us, on the big possibility and just a slight chance of him being fine, could be selfish of me because I didn't want to leave him for those nights...especially if his ears get worse. Then I felt selfish for thinking that it might just be easier to leave him...not such a headache to worry about what he'd do on the plane, how he'd handle all the new people, etc. What's a mother to do?

I had a conversation with a friend a few weeks ago regarding worship...things weren't going the way she wanted them to--the piano player wasn't keeping up the way she'd like, they didn't know the songs, something like that. We talked about the lyrics to "The Heart of Worship": "I'm coming back to the heart of worship, because it's all about You, all about You, Jesus. I'm sorry, Lord, for the things I've made it, it's all about You...Jesus."

My heart knows these things but my head doesn't always want to agree--the things in the church that we don't agree with (whether it's a style preference, organizational disagreement, personality clash, whatever...) aren't about us! It doesn't matter what I like or what makes me uncomfortable. Church (the way Christ intended) is about Jesus and doing what's best for His Bride.

My battle yesterday was a battle between doing what's best for me and what's best for Colby--being selfish and being selfless. Yes, it's going to be hard to leave him for those days, but in the end, it's all about Colby. So, pray for us...we'll be missing our Colbster! :o)