Meltdown City

Here's the background--I have been working on an online degree for awhile. I've been trying to push myself to work very hard the next several months to get it done. Fast forward to this past week when Colby's sleeping was kind of irratic. Thursday morning he woke up at 2:45 and wouldn't go back to bed until 5 am. Several hours later (after not being able to get back to sleep after he went back to bed), I was trying to figure out this finance concept dealing with foreign exchange/markets. I had been trying to wrap my mind around it for several days, had emailed the "expert" at school, read all of the given text, etc. Shouldn't have been too hard but for some reason, I was having a hard time with it. I had an absolute meltdown. It was crazy--I was sobbing on the floor, asking for God to make it clear..."If I can't get this simple concept, how am I going to figure out the more complex information to come?! Am I not supposed to be doing this?" I don't know that Justin knew just how upset I was, but he managed to calm me down over Facebook chat. In the meantime, thankfully, I had sent an email (with basically the same verbage as above...) to my advisor and she called a colleague who knew more about the information and had her call me to explain. Finally, I understood, but it wasn't without a lot of heartache and emotions.

I started thinking about Jesus and his 40 days in the desert. Compared to his time without food, my night without sleep is practically nothing, but still. I was ready to give in and give up--can you imagine the strength and determination it took for Christ to stand up to satan's temptations, especially being weak from the type of hunger He went through? Nothing in this world would be lost if I gave up on my degree (except lots of $$), but the world was depending on Jesus to not submit to Satan's requests and taunting...that's a lot of pressure! What would happen if I truly submitted my life to God's will through fasting and prayer (because I know that this looks way different than what I do now)??