It's a Battlefield Somedays

I went to workout early Friday morning. (And when I say early, I mean early early, as in workout starts at 5:30 in the morning early and I have to get up early enough to wake up and eat breakfast--among other things--before I leave.) It was a great workout, a hard workout that had me really contemplating if I honestly chose to put myself through that torture before the sun came up. Somewhere in between the 12th and 13th set of squats and 3rd set of burpees, I heard the lyrics to "Battlefield" by Jordin Sparks and I truly felt myself having to battle whether or not I could finish. The words were Why does love always feel like a battlefield, a battlefield, a battlefield? It replayed over and over in my head throughout the rest of the set and during the next short rest session, I was overcome with emotion. A picture played in my head--the young man talking us through the workout that morning perhaps, my brother, or pictures we see on the news everyday--of a soldier in battle gear fighting for my freedom. Then I thought of how hard I felt I had it...working my body to get in shape and be healthy, battling temptations of overeating. Finally, a picture of my Savior battling and pleading with his Father the night of his arrest.

I don't battle. Not like I think I do and probably not as much as I'd like you to think I do.  Physical battles, nuh-uh. My physical battles don't compare to the fights our heroes fight daily on the warfront. They would probably be offended to hear my comparison to battle through my workout and their efforts for my freedom. Oh, there are temptations that creep up--whether or not I'll succumb to the temptations to eat things I don't really want to, doing good instead of ignoring the opportunity, having joy instead of choosing bitterness--but do I really, I mean really battle anything close to the spiritual battle Jesus endured? Nope.

This is mostly a lot of word vomit (as my friend Amy would call it), lots of rambling on, but I guess one thing I thought of tonight as I'm trying to get it out of my head is that no matter the battle I'm enduring, God still cares. I sought to start memorizing this verse this week: 1Corinthians 10:13-"No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. But God is faithful." What hope!  What promise!  I'm tempted to stp there because it's so reassuring and peaceful. But!  Paul goes on--"He will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear.  But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it."  He does care and God doesn't want us to sin when we're battling against it--whether "big" or "little" sins, He gives us a way to endure.

So, needless to say, I finished the workout and was, of course, glad I did. Kind of like when I choose God instead of that sin I'm battling. Thankful for His Word, His Promises, and the daily reminders of what a real battle looks like.

Just a little of what's going on in my head this week. :)

I want to help that cucumber!

So. I'll admit--I've been plagued with a bit of "stuffitis" the last week or two. You know what I'm talking about...closer to "the grass is greener" and "somewhere over the rainbow" as opposed to a main character on Hoarders, but you get my drift. I want a permanently clean house, clothes, more sleep (big one), a different car, free time...things like that. I live & know I have more way than I need or deserve but for some reason, I've been wanting more.

I was grumbling about having to vacuum the second day in a row and after posting a status on Facebook about how frustrating it can be to go from terrific to tornado in 2.6 seconds, I remembered reading someone else's status about a friend whose little girl went to be with Jesus. Dose of Reality #1.

Then came Dose of Reality #2. Colb came into our room with me and was laying on the bed, putting his hands all over me...arms around my arm, in my hair, etc. I asked him what was going on and he said, "I just need you." "Okay, God--I get it. Kids who love me and need me? Way better than a clean house anyday."

Finally, after a few minutes of cuddling with the Colbster, we got up and I walked back into the room where Dub & Colb were watching Veggie Tales--it was the story of the God Samaritan...Larry was beaten up and stuffed in a whole (upside down) and left like that.  All of a sudden, Colby asked, "Mom! Can you lift me into that movie?" A bit confused, I went to see what he was talking about. I thought he was talking about switching DVDs on Dub (drama waiting to happen).

"What do you mean, Colb?"
"I want to help that cucumber!"
"Oh, Colby--Honey, it's a movie. We can't go into the story like that."
"But you can try, Mom! Can you lift me up and we'll see?"

So, I did. I tried. I lifted Colby up and after letting his little head bump the TV screen (No worries, dear--your TV is on the wall very securely :) ), he realized we couldn't, in fact, join the story/movie.

When will I realize that free time, sleep, a more often kept clean house, etc. won't make me happy? When will I remember that little boys who just want to cuddle won't want to do that forever? When will I remember that these little boys are only here for a little while and I have to hold onto this little bit of heaven (them) while I can? That breadcrumbs on the floor, while they drive me crazy, don't matter? That PJ days are ok every once in awhile?

Just some rambling. I guess what I am trying to remember daily is that I am truly and completely blessed. God is way bigger & better than I give Him credit for.